So I recently found out that a former friend of mine (note the word "former") has recently announced that she's expecting. I'm super excited for her. Being a mom has been the best job of my life. I've tried to stay connected with this friend here and there. She was my training partner for a year or two and we logged tons of miles on our feet and on our bikes. Spending that much time together you become pretty good friends.
When I started having to cut back on training because my kids needed me things began to fizzle. She dropped me so fast and pretty much stopped contacting me. I was fairly hurt by te fact that I was pretty disposable since I thought we were pretty good friends.
So this past couple of weeks we've been communicating via email. We had scheduled on the calendar a time to meet up for coffee or go to lunch. We confirmed the day before and te next day she kind of left me hanging. She wasn't feeling well only to find out later it was due to the morning sickness.ok I'll give her that, but not even a call or text message to cancel?
Recently we were talking about a half-marathon in an email conversation. I mention who I planned on running. I get a reply that states the friend I plan on running with is riding in the limo with them to the race. Ok, I'm not looking for an invite or anything, but really she has to tell me she's doing something fun and fabulous with a group of people and drive home the fact that I'm not invited. Was it to make me feel bad? Was it to point out that my life is isolating or I suck as a friend so no one wants to include me.
I can remember early in our friendship. The whining and crying over one of her now best friends and how that individual treated her. How they made her feel badly about herself. Clearly she doesn't recall what that feels like. I think I'm completely over this friend.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Shamrockin Half-Marathon
I got myself up this morning to do my first official half-marathon since the Nike Women's half in 2010. This is the first race that I've done without a friend to drive or run with. I was supposed to run with a friend. But I could never find her. So I ran my own race. I hooked up with the 2:10 pacer thinking that would be the appropriate easy pace for me. The virtual half I did in January was around that time. Of course, I had my dogs with me and I didn't taper. When I awoke this morning I had slight calf cramps and I had started my period. So that also lead me to believe the 2:10 goal would be good.
After the first mile and a half I decided I needed to ditch that 2:10 pace guy. That pace was too slow and since I never found my friend I might as well just leave all i had on the course. I put both headphones in and found a pace to settle into. I found a lady who was a good pace for me so I stuck with her until the last mile. She began pulling away at the last drink station and I just didn't have it in me to catch her.
I finished, according to my Garmin, at 2:02.66. My best half since 2008. I don't remember what I ran that year. My parkway half in the same year was 2:01 and my best half ever was 1:59. So not too shabby considering I rarely do speed work or run with a plan.
Signs held up along the way:
"Run like an angry Kenyan"
"Your running 13.1 because your only half crazy"
"Even if you walk it will still hurt"
"Forget everything you did before this point, you only have your best 10k to run"
I love spectators they really help keep you motivated. The volunteers are so greatly appreciated too!
Saturday, March 10, 2012
The New Swim Cap
Changing swim teams is NEVER easy. You build friendships among families and swimmers. That's why I love swimming as a sport. C has been swimming USA Swimming since she was eight years old. During this time we've met some of the greatest families. My very favorite thing about swimming is it's one of the few sports that you can spend an entire day, or two or three, with your child doing what they love to do. Another great thing is if you are bored, they will always have a volunteer job for you. Swimming needs a lot of support volunteers.
C just loves the water and USAS offered her the opportunity to swim longer distances and strokes that were her favorite. We spent almost a year with our first USAS team. Our current team would have been three years this July. After that much time with swim families they become just that swim families. We encourage each other's swimmers. We sit in the sun watching them swim back and forth. We volunteer together. We invest many hours in not only supporting our children, but also our teams.
When it came time to actually consider changing teams, it was hard... R was ready for C to leave the team in the fall and becoming more and more ready by the day. C began being ready after the posters. I was the holdout volunteer obligation, etc. I ask many questions about their program. At our last meet, the O mom and daughter came to see C and offer encouragement. They gave C some really good advice.. and me to of course!
C is so upset by her performance she wants to quit. Thankfully my friend was within reach she gave me some very wise words to share with her. I had to wait until just the right moment to talk with her not only about her accountability for her performance, but what kind of a solution can she find for herself. We arrive home quite deflated. I start communicating with the new teams coaches. We like the answers to our questions. The ball is in motion...
As a parent you never want your child to rush into anything, especially if you have a child that is impulsive. Kids like new things. New things are bright and shiny. New experiences always have a honeymoon period. So you really want things to be right. C had decided to wait until closer to the end of March, but I can see that she is clearly not doing well in her mental outlook on swim. I finally ask the new coach point blank what are "your personal" recommendations in this specific situation. I needed to know is it better to wait, come quickly, what? The coach gave me some really great advice and I took it.
C and I decided when she would go. We contacted the coach and I took her Tuesday night. Not only did she see her two favorite senior swimmers from her old team. One of them immediately jumped out of the water and gave her the biggest hug. C's smile was a mile wide. She was in love the trial night.. She ended up swimming a practice with them. C told me all of the things she loved about Coach C's style. "She's strict. She corrects you. She watches... closely." She went on to explain all the kids she met and how she new so many. They were all very nice to her. The energy coming from this child was contagious.
I made her go back to her old team to swim a practice and tell her coach. She didn't want to, but I made her. There were two reasons to go back. The first, swim a practice and make sure she wasn't overly excited about the new one. Second, she has to tell her coach and her team mates. I had earlier in the day have her write a thank you card for Coach B. We went back and forth about when. Should she before or after practice? I told her she could always come back if she changed her mind. I am so glad I made her go.. Coach B was amazing to her. He offered her encouragement and best wishes. His actions made such a difference. He was mature and professional. He couldn't have handled the situation any better. I wish I could say the same for how the head coach handled the departure of some of the senior swimmers.
The last two practices with C's new coach have been nothing short of FUN! She's having a great time. She's working hard and she's focused on her goals. She wants to make Coach B proud when he sees her at the next meet. She's confident and prideful again. She's bubbly and energetic again. We couldn't ask for a better result. But we still miss the days with Junior and our old team...
C just loves the water and USAS offered her the opportunity to swim longer distances and strokes that were her favorite. We spent almost a year with our first USAS team. Our current team would have been three years this July. After that much time with swim families they become just that swim families. We encourage each other's swimmers. We sit in the sun watching them swim back and forth. We volunteer together. We invest many hours in not only supporting our children, but also our teams.
When it came time to actually consider changing teams, it was hard... R was ready for C to leave the team in the fall and becoming more and more ready by the day. C began being ready after the posters. I was the holdout volunteer obligation, etc. I ask many questions about their program. At our last meet, the O mom and daughter came to see C and offer encouragement. They gave C some really good advice.. and me to of course!
C is so upset by her performance she wants to quit. Thankfully my friend was within reach she gave me some very wise words to share with her. I had to wait until just the right moment to talk with her not only about her accountability for her performance, but what kind of a solution can she find for herself. We arrive home quite deflated. I start communicating with the new teams coaches. We like the answers to our questions. The ball is in motion...
As a parent you never want your child to rush into anything, especially if you have a child that is impulsive. Kids like new things. New things are bright and shiny. New experiences always have a honeymoon period. So you really want things to be right. C had decided to wait until closer to the end of March, but I can see that she is clearly not doing well in her mental outlook on swim. I finally ask the new coach point blank what are "your personal" recommendations in this specific situation. I needed to know is it better to wait, come quickly, what? The coach gave me some really great advice and I took it.
C and I decided when she would go. We contacted the coach and I took her Tuesday night. Not only did she see her two favorite senior swimmers from her old team. One of them immediately jumped out of the water and gave her the biggest hug. C's smile was a mile wide. She was in love the trial night.. She ended up swimming a practice with them. C told me all of the things she loved about Coach C's style. "She's strict. She corrects you. She watches... closely." She went on to explain all the kids she met and how she new so many. They were all very nice to her. The energy coming from this child was contagious.
I made her go back to her old team to swim a practice and tell her coach. She didn't want to, but I made her. There were two reasons to go back. The first, swim a practice and make sure she wasn't overly excited about the new one. Second, she has to tell her coach and her team mates. I had earlier in the day have her write a thank you card for Coach B. We went back and forth about when. Should she before or after practice? I told her she could always come back if she changed her mind. I am so glad I made her go.. Coach B was amazing to her. He offered her encouragement and best wishes. His actions made such a difference. He was mature and professional. He couldn't have handled the situation any better. I wish I could say the same for how the head coach handled the departure of some of the senior swimmers.
The last two practices with C's new coach have been nothing short of FUN! She's having a great time. She's working hard and she's focused on her goals. She wants to make Coach B proud when he sees her at the next meet. She's confident and prideful again. She's bubbly and energetic again. We couldn't ask for a better result. But we still miss the days with Junior and our old team...
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
3 Bad Apples and 1 Queen Bee
Upon returning from swim practice this evening, I inquire with C about her evening. She informed me there is no dry land practice again! The reason four of the girls arrive in jeans. This is like showing up for PE in school without your PE clothes. She then proceeds to describe and explain to me the conversation she has with one Queen Bee. Who in C's words "gets away with anything she wants!"
Dry land workouts are the swimmer's cross and strength training. In my opinion, it helps prevent injuries. Injuries, something that my daughter seems to get very easily this past year. Perhaps it's merely coincidence or perhaps there is some stock to the fact that they are not as conditioned and strong as they used to be under the former coach. This coach inspired those kids to work hard. When they were not participating or showed poor team spirit he sent them home. He would also tell the parents. In his opinion, why should parents waste their hard earned money if their child isn't going to participate. This coach was fired suddenly last May or June by the club management. We should have parted ways then, but we wanted to give the new coach a chance.
I had a discussion with the my daughter's coach about what's going on at practice. We spoke about dry land, my daughter's fear of injuries, her bad habits, lack of motivation, and other issues. I was informed that she didn't participate well in dry land. The coach would have to stand in front of her to get her to do the exercises. She will say it's because of injuries. He also mentioned how swimmers in his group show up with cell phones and dressed inappropriately for this portion of the work outs. C and the other kids, show up dressed appropriately and ready to participate (even if C's participating halfheartedly or crappy she's ready). Yet, workouts get cancelled because of this Queen Bee and her three bad apples that follow her.
The queen bee and her three friends... don't care. Not only do they not care or respect the other swimmers, they obviously don't care about the program. I'm really at loss for words as to how this is acceptable behavior to be exhibited and modeled for the younger children who look up and aspire to be like the older children. Did I mention I pay money for my daughter to participate in this program? Last I checked I wasn't paying money for four bratty 13-year old girls to run the program.
Let's talk about sportsmanship and team spirit. There is NONE! It's every swimmer for themselves. There's no cheering for anyone outside your clique. It's acceptable to write inappropriate things on some one's motivating poster. It's acceptable to behave badly. The coach told me that they are all respectful of him. Really? This is respectful behavior?
After this weekend's swim meet when we talked about other teams. C tells me all of the things she noticed about other teams regarding team spirit and camaraderie. It was like a rock to the head, I realized she's missing those things from her team a tremendous amount. I knew it after the poster incident, but didn't realize to what degree. When she can tell me which teams cheered for one another at the end of the swimmer's lanes I knew she was paying attention to the other teams. She also took note of which groups stayed together and had a team cheer. She's noticing what she no longer has at her team and she longs for it. I suppose she is telling me that it's time for a change and I suppose I really need to listen.
Dry land workouts are the swimmer's cross and strength training. In my opinion, it helps prevent injuries. Injuries, something that my daughter seems to get very easily this past year. Perhaps it's merely coincidence or perhaps there is some stock to the fact that they are not as conditioned and strong as they used to be under the former coach. This coach inspired those kids to work hard. When they were not participating or showed poor team spirit he sent them home. He would also tell the parents. In his opinion, why should parents waste their hard earned money if their child isn't going to participate. This coach was fired suddenly last May or June by the club management. We should have parted ways then, but we wanted to give the new coach a chance.
I had a discussion with the my daughter's coach about what's going on at practice. We spoke about dry land, my daughter's fear of injuries, her bad habits, lack of motivation, and other issues. I was informed that she didn't participate well in dry land. The coach would have to stand in front of her to get her to do the exercises. She will say it's because of injuries. He also mentioned how swimmers in his group show up with cell phones and dressed inappropriately for this portion of the work outs. C and the other kids, show up dressed appropriately and ready to participate (even if C's participating halfheartedly or crappy she's ready). Yet, workouts get cancelled because of this Queen Bee and her three bad apples that follow her.
The queen bee and her three friends... don't care. Not only do they not care or respect the other swimmers, they obviously don't care about the program. I'm really at loss for words as to how this is acceptable behavior to be exhibited and modeled for the younger children who look up and aspire to be like the older children. Did I mention I pay money for my daughter to participate in this program? Last I checked I wasn't paying money for four bratty 13-year old girls to run the program.
Let's talk about sportsmanship and team spirit. There is NONE! It's every swimmer for themselves. There's no cheering for anyone outside your clique. It's acceptable to write inappropriate things on some one's motivating poster. It's acceptable to behave badly. The coach told me that they are all respectful of him. Really? This is respectful behavior?
After this weekend's swim meet when we talked about other teams. C tells me all of the things she noticed about other teams regarding team spirit and camaraderie. It was like a rock to the head, I realized she's missing those things from her team a tremendous amount. I knew it after the poster incident, but didn't realize to what degree. When she can tell me which teams cheered for one another at the end of the swimmer's lanes I knew she was paying attention to the other teams. She also took note of which groups stayed together and had a team cheer. She's noticing what she no longer has at her team and she longs for it. I suppose she is telling me that it's time for a change and I suppose I really need to listen.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)