In January, I had a falling out with another swim mom. Our daughters were friends, or so I thought, only to find out that really the daughter was pretty mean. Anyways, thinking that the mom and I were friends I went to her about the girls talking too much during practice. I felt that it was a distraction to the other swimmers and disrepectiful to the coach. This mom was so furious that she proceeded to behave badly at a swim meet in front of all of the families. I was so furious and trying to contain myself that I just started crying. The hurtful and hateful things this woman said to me at a yell publicly was not only humiliating, but it was embarassing to be treated that way in public. I made the unfortunate mistake of going to the coach for help and not the meet referee. Since I'm a USA swim official I know that there is a standard for behavior and she wasn't meeting it. I really should have involved the meet referee handle the situation. It would have served two purposes, unfortunately my horrible mistake of not doing so.
Anyways, long story short we are no longer friends. This other mom has signed up to volunteer as an official (which I find quite disturbing because she told me I was a horrible parent for doing so and for dumping my child on others). I guess in her mind it's only acceptable for two parent families to step up and volunteer? Funny thing is a lot of two parent families do not always step up and volunteer. I just hope this parent doesn't use being an official to single out my child.
What I find interesting besides the fact that this mom is now an official. She is also very chummy with the families that she talked badly about. She was disrespectful of their desire, and perhaps their children's, to work hard for a swim scholarship. She griped about how cliquey and mean the girls were to her daughter and how poorly they treated her. She tried to include my daughter in that mess too, but I made sure she understood my daughter had no complaints about the other swimmers and has only had nice things to say about them all. Now they sit in the team area and she's awfully friendly to the other parents. Perhaps she recognized her behavior and this is her way of saving face somehow. I'm not really sure, but I do not believe for a second that any part of this is genuine. I believe to my core it has a purpose.
The daughter, the mean girl swimmer, is still mean. Mean girl swimmer never wore a cap in practice. One day my daughter's cap disappears and it's right after mean girl picks up her gear. So C asked her if she picked it up. In the expected snobby fashion this girl says to her "I don't wear caps in practice." The very next day she starts wearing a cap and has been since. Coincidence perhaps... or perhaps not. My gut tells me otherwise.
At our last swim meet, we had a chair stolen. Another swimmer, who is friends with my daughter and former friends of the mean girl swimmer, also had a chair stolen. Both chairs with our names on them. Mean girl and family were sitting in a tent right next to where our nice girls were. In all the years of swimming, I have never had anything stolen. I've lost and forgotten things, but certainly not stolen. I personally think that this mean girl had something to do with it. Especially after the story my daughter recently told me about the time she and mean girl swimmer shared a dry locker and a wet locker together at the swim club. The wet locker had mean girls lock on it. The dry C's lock. Apparently after C would fit both gear bags in the locker and left the locker room mean girl would take her gear bag out and throw it in the lost and found. I recall vividly the time C called me to tell me her bag was stolen only to have me explain to her she must have "forgotten it" pool side because the lock was on the locker. Never in a million years did I ever suspect mean girl of doing such an intentionally mean thing. She did this to C three times. It resulted in C's snorkel being stolen and two of her favorite fun caps she kept in her bag. I felt horrible after she told me this story.
I asked C why she let mean girl do that to her. She said she liked being able to have room in her locker to keep extra towels. She knew as soon as her gear bag went in she would lose that luxury. She said when she stopped sharing the dry locker she took all of mean girls stuff and neatly folded it all, and she had a list by memory that included jewelry, and placed it in mean girls BFF's bag. She said she could over hear the things they said about her when they returned to the locker room to discover mean girls stuff had been removed.
Sometime within the last two weeks the mean girl accused my daughter of stealing her bag. C handled it well. When I talked to another friend about it. She said "when your mean you make lots of enemies." If that couldn't be more true. When you talk meanly about people behind their backs. Think that people are around you to be your servent and errand runner without a thank you. When you give people mean nick names and they find out about it... you make enemies.
I'll give mean girl credit. Since she stopped talking and goofing off in her lane and swimming and practicing she's been swimming great. Hard work does pay off. I'd just like to know when the mean girls get what they deserve?
The lesson C and I learned, when you have friends like these who needs enemies. Be careful who you friend and trust around the pool, their motives may not always be genuine.
No comments:
Post a Comment