Zone Meet Part II

What an amazing experience!  Hands down the funnest meet I have ever participated in.  First, a huge shout out to all of the individuals involved in planning and organizing this meet.  The host team did an AMAZING job.  I hope they will have an opportunity to host this meet again.  It was such a pleasure to officiate.

What a great team of officials.  I met officials from Washington, Idaho, Colorado, Utah, Montana... and I'm probably going to forget some of the states that some individuals came from.  All the nicest group of people.  I had the pleasure of working as a starter during Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday prelims.  My first day's deck ref (DR) was our local national evaluator.  He's very serious and is not a man of a lot of words so it's taken me a while to get as comfortable around him as I'd like to be.  What I love about him is his love for the sport.  He's worked national decks and officiated for some of our Olympic athletes.  He knows his swimming and I know if I have questions I can always go to him for answers.  After one of our conversations, I realized he really wants us to do our best and to enjoy and love what we do. My second and third days I was paired with another very experienced DR from Colorado.  She was amazing.  She was so great to work with. She gave me scenarios to ponder and think of solutions.  She shared a lot of knowledge with me.  I learned so much. 

I worked the even end of the pool during prelims and there were three teams of us on Friday and Saturday.  The other team was one of our local deck ref/starters and another gentleman who is 91 years old from the Central Valley.  What a sweet heart.  He was a starter and I have to say I loved the sound of his voice when he invited with swimmers with "take your mark."  He has been around the pool deck for over 30 years.  I didn't get the opportunity to speak with him about his officiating career as I had hoped, but I did get a chance to observe him doing what he does.  He's been officiating zone meets for more than fifteen years.  The other starter I enjoyed observing was an amazing starter and had a wonderful voice.  It was great to observe and listen to the calm inviting tone of his voice.  The biggest thing I noticed about the other starters is their consistency of tone.  How each paced themselves based on their eight or nine swimmers in their group.  Some groups of swimmers set themselves faster than others some do not.  Each group is different and requires a different pace.  I loved seeing how the two of them paced their starts. 

I was only needed as a starter during prelims so I had the option of taking the rest of the day off or coming back for finals.  My daughter was having such a great time volunteering that she was not having any of the going home after prelims business she was there to work and have fun.  So I checked with one of the chief judge (CJ) to see if they needed any help.  I knew the meet could use additional help so if they didn't need an official I'd volunteer in another capacity for the host team. Turns out they needed stroke and turn (ST).  So I worked Friday and Saturday finals as an ST.  That was fun.  It gave me the opportunity to get to know many of the other officials and hear about their swimming experiences and where they are from.  I just can't say enough great things about the individuals I worked with.  

I learned many things this weekend, not only about officiating, but about myself.  One of the best lessons I heard was from our oldest official "you do not DQ a swimmer, a swimmer DQ's themselves" we should never feel as though their DQ was our responsibly.  I loved that perspective since there are times when I feel badly about writing those slips, but I know that doing so at an LSC level helps prevent it from happening at a higher caliber meet.  I also learned that I am a good starter, but that if I work at it and continue to work different level meets and with experienced individuals I could possibly be a great starter.  That was a great compliment and I felt very humbled to hear it.  I owe a huge thank you to two encouraging fellow officials, one in particular, that gave me the encouragement to move forward as a starter and I appreciate it so much. 

The Officials
The white shirts in the morning sun did not make for a great photo.

Zones

Another wonderful opportunity has come along.  A USA Swimming Zone meet is being hosted locally.  I have enjoyed my time as a swim official the last few years, particularly as a starter.  A zone meet brings swimmers and officials from many different states together at one meet.  I've been a certified starter since last November or December and have received many complements, but I'm still new.  I decided to apply for a starter position at the zone meet.  I figured I'd end up working stroke and turn, due to the many experienced individuals who would be applying, which would be fine for me.  A national meet of that caliber is a first for me so I'm just happy to participate officiating in any capacity.

Much to my surprise, I was assigned a starter position. I couldn't believe it.  What a nice complement to my skills as a starter.  I still can't believe it.  Now I have nerves. I'm a new starter and I still feel a bit rusty.  It's so important to me to give those swimmers the best start possible.  I know I can do it and with an experienced deck ref the job will be that much easier, because they typically assign those with a lot of experience to these positions.  The meet is next week and I work three of the four days.  It's a big enough deal that they will be have a team official's photo.  I'll have to brush up on my calm "take your mark" this weekend.

The Foot, Part II

After seven weeks and one day after the injury to the foot, C declared she was healing and turning a corner.  I almost cancelled the appointment with pediatric orthopedics, but decided not too. It was the following week and just shy of eight weeks from injury date.  I am so glad I kept that appointment.  The orthopedist looked at the x-ray and saw a small hairline fracture in the lateral metatarsal of her foot.  Along with some severe tendonitites of the small tendon from that bone to the growth plate of the foot.  A common area of injury in active kids.  She was indeed set back by lack of treatment in her foot for the first two weeks.  Perhaps the tendonities might not have developed if she'd been diagnosed appropriately and put in a boot.  It also didn't help that, if I didn't misunderstand, the original pediatritian
who read the x-ray didn't have radiology read it.  I'll address that later since I don't really care for that pediatrician at all anyways (a whole other separate story).

C was told to listen to her body.  If she has pain in her foot she needs to back off and rest it.  Protect the foot.  Where the boot when around a lot of people to prevent it from getting stepped on.  Continue with rest, ice, compression, and elevation (RICE).  The doctor assured her that she did not suffer any long term damage to her foot by not being put in a cast right away, it just delayed the healing process.  So it's just really important to not re-injure and to continue to allow it to heal.  She can still swim, but no high impact activities like running, jumping, etc.

I thought C was just being dramatic.  Now I feel horrible, but relieved to know that she really did have an explainable injury to her foot.  I'm also really ticked at the doctor who originally blew off her injury as a sprain and said she'd be better by Monday.  Ticked at myself for not asking him more questions.  Of course, I thought it was like all other injuries that she'd bounce back from in a couple of weeks.

The long course (LC) swim season in USA swimming is April to August.  There are few swim meets during this season.  I think there were four meets prior to the Junior Olympic meet in mid-July.  C had already scratched met two.  I signed her up for an additional meet to make up for it, but she had been swimming a lot with a bouey, not swimming breaststroke, or fly, backstroke minimal, not practicing starts etc.  She started shaving time off here and there.  I think she's only been swimming without a bouey four weeks ago and she starts resting the foot cause it gets tired and achey.  Anyways, she has wanted to qualify for the JO meet in July so badly.  She did today in the 100 free by 0.04 of a second.

C's looking forward to our travel meet and continuing to mend her foot!

Mean Girls Make Lots of Enemies

In January, I had a falling out with another swim mom.  Our daughters were friends, or so I thought, only to find out that really the daughter was pretty mean.  Anyways, thinking that the mom and I were friends I went to her about the girls talking too much during practice. I felt that it was a distraction to the other swimmers and disrepectiful to the coach.  This mom was so furious that she proceeded to behave badly at a swim meet in front of all of the families.  I was so furious and trying to contain myself that I just started crying.  The hurtful and hateful things this woman said to me at a yell publicly was not only humiliating, but it was embarassing to be treated that way in public.  I made the unfortunate mistake of going to the coach for help and not the meet referee.  Since I'm a USA swim official I know that there is a standard for behavior and she wasn't meeting it. I really should have involved the meet referee handle the situation.  It would have served two purposes, unfortunately my horrible mistake of not doing so.

Anyways, long story short we are no longer friends.  This other mom has signed up to volunteer as an official (which I find quite disturbing because she told me I was a horrible parent for doing so and for dumping  my child on others).  I guess in her mind it's only acceptable for two parent families to step up and volunteer?  Funny thing is a lot of two parent families do not always step up and volunteer. I just hope this parent doesn't use being an official to single out my child.

What I find interesting besides the fact that this mom is now an official.  She is also very chummy with the families that she talked badly about.  She was disrespectful of their desire, and perhaps their children's, to work hard for a swim scholarship. She griped about how cliquey and mean the girls were to her daughter and how poorly they treated her.  She tried to include my daughter in that mess too, but I made sure she understood my daughter had no complaints about the other swimmers and has only had nice things to say about them all. Now they sit in the team area and she's awfully friendly to the other parents.  Perhaps she recognized her behavior and this is her way of saving face somehow.  I'm not really sure, but  I do not believe for a second that any part of this is genuine.  I believe to my core it has a purpose.

The daughter, the mean girl swimmer,  is still mean. Mean girl swimmer never wore a cap in practice.  One day my daughter's cap disappears and it's right after mean girl picks up her gear.  So C asked her if she picked it up.  In the expected snobby fashion this girl says to her "I don't wear caps in practice."  The very next day she starts wearing a cap and has been since. Coincidence perhaps... or perhaps not.  My gut tells me otherwise.

At our last swim meet, we had a chair stolen.  Another swimmer, who is friends with my daughter and former friends of the mean girl swimmer, also had a chair stolen.  Both chairs with our names on them.  Mean girl and family were sitting in a tent right next to where our nice girls were.  In all the years of swimming, I have never had anything stolen.  I've lost and forgotten things, but certainly not stolen.  I personally think that this mean girl had something to do with it. Especially after the story my daughter recently told me about the time she and mean girl swimmer shared a dry locker and a wet locker together at the swim club.  The wet locker had mean girls lock on it.  The dry C's lock.  Apparently after C would fit both gear bags in the locker and left the locker room mean girl would take her gear bag out and throw it in the lost and found.  I recall vividly the time C called me to tell me her bag was stolen only to have me explain to her she must have "forgotten it" pool side because the lock was on the locker.  Never in a million years did I ever suspect mean girl of doing such an intentionally mean thing. She did this to C three times.  It resulted in C's snorkel being stolen and two of her favorite fun caps she kept in her bag.  I felt horrible after she told me this story.

I asked C why she let mean girl do that to her.  She said she liked being able to have room in her locker to keep extra towels.  She knew as soon as her gear bag went in she would lose that luxury.  She said when she stopped sharing the dry locker she took all of mean girls stuff and neatly folded it all, and she had a list by memory that included jewelry, and placed it in mean girls BFF's bag.  She said she could over hear the things they said about her when they returned to the locker room to discover mean girls stuff had been removed.

Sometime within the last two weeks the mean girl accused my daughter of stealing her bag.  C handled it well.  When I talked to another friend about it.  She said "when your mean you make lots of enemies." If that couldn't be more true.  When you talk meanly about people behind their backs.  Think that people are around you to be your servent and errand runner without a thank you.  When you give people mean nick names and they find out about it... you make enemies.

I'll give mean girl credit.  Since she stopped talking and goofing off in her lane and swimming and practicing she's been swimming great.  Hard work does pay off.  I'd just like to know when the mean girls get what they deserve?

The lesson C and I learned, when you have friends like these who needs enemies.  Be careful who you friend and trust around the pool, their motives may not always be genuine.

Rec Swimming vs. USA Swimming

I was just attacked by someone who I thought was my friend regarding the different opinion I have from hers regarding rec vs USA Swimming.  She's deeply committed and involved in the largest rec team in my area. My daughter swam rec with this team for two years.   It was a great experience and her introduction to swimming.  Unfortunately, my daughter was frustrated by not having the opportunity to swim all of the events offered her age group at meets due to the size of her group.  She started  a USA swim team one fall and never looked back at rec again. She really liked and enjoyed the opportunities she had to swim 50's and 100's in all strokes that was her deciding factor.

This friend was furious with me. She felt that when I stated that a team of  396 swimmers f must pose challenges for all swimmers to get equal opportunity to swim all of the events.  Apparently, that opinion means that I'm saying they can never good swimmers, not at all.  I'm of the opinion that at 396 swimmers it is logistically challenging, if not impossible, to accommodate every swimmer being able to have the opportunity to swim each event they have interest in at each swim meet.  That's a large team, period.  You can't accommodate everyone at that size.  I wasn't disrespecting the coaches, the team, or the swimmers.  This team is one of the more competitive rec teams in our area.  They have a great reputation... they are just one of the LARGEST rec teams in the area.  That is a fact.

I tried to explain that USA swimming has it's advantages for swimmers depending on their goals.  If they like to swim all events and distances they have the opportunity to have more independence and be more self driven with regard to their stroke and event interests and goals.  Year round USA swimming is not for all swimmers, nor is rec.

In speaking with this individual I tried to explain to her that I've come in contact with many families from both rec and USA. Each family I've spoken with, including my experiences, have many common points regarding the two programs. The programs are apples and oranges.  Communities need both.

Below is a list of things that I have observed and/or experienced from both programs.

Rec Swimming:

1. Offers multi-sport swimmers the opportunity of a shortened condensed season freeing up their time for other sports. 
2. Tends to lend itself to being a much better starting point for beginning swimmers.
3. Although competitive, it offers a much more relaxed environment environment which seems to be perceived as being "much more fun" than USA Swimming.
4. The coach drives the events chosen for the swimmers at meets. 
5. With the exception of championships, meets are a competition amongst two teams.
6. There is limited exposure to other distances for each stroke, for example 200 back is not a distance available to rec swimmers, 200 medley and free relays are depending on the age group.
7. Swim meets are typically every Saturday from the beginning of season until the end. 

USA Swimming

1. Swimmers are responsible for choosing their own individual swim events at meet.  Direction from their coaches influences their events chosen, but swimmers tend to gravitate towards the events they are strong in.  For example my daughter loves back stroke.  She will sign up for the 50, 100,  and the 200 distances.  
2. With most USA teams there tends to be a minimum swim skill requirement that needs to be met by each swimmer.  
3. Swimming is all year (yes even in the winter).
4. Swim meets are against many swim teams, not just one.  
5. Offers a more competitive level of swimming depending on each swimmer's individual skill and goals.  
6. Offers a short course season 25 yards and a long course season 50 meter.
7. Swim meets are on the average monthly, depending on team meets chosen, and are typically Friday through Sunday with the exception of higher level qualifying meets which can run from Thursday through Sunday. 

I'm not saying one program is better than the other.  Nor am I saying that rec cannot produce good, or great, swimmers.  An individual is a great swimmer,  because they love what they do, have good coaching, and a strong desire to be their best.

In the end I walked away from that conversation.  It saddened me deeply that this friend, with only a single swim experience to pull from, other than probably high school, so harshly judges a program she has no experience with other than the disgruntled rec families who went from rec to USA, back to rec.  She is of the opinion that USA sucks the fun out of swimming, but yet each year a handful of rec swimmers will leave and go to USA and never look back and be quite happy to do so.

3 Bad Apples and 1 Queen Bee

Upon returning from swim practice this evening, I inquire with C about her evening.  She informed me there is no dry land practice again! The reason four of the girls arrive in jeans.  This is like showing up for PE in school without your PE clothes.  She then proceeds to describe and explain to me the conversation she has with one Queen Bee. Who in C's words "gets away with anything she wants!"

Dry land workouts are the swimmer's cross and strength training.  In my opinion, it helps prevent injuries.  Injuries, something that my daughter seems to get very easily this past year.  Perhaps it's merely coincidence or perhaps there is some stock to the fact that they are not as conditioned and strong as they used to be under the former coach.  This coach inspired those kids to work hard.  When they were not participating or showed poor team spirit he sent them home.  He would also tell the parents.  In his opinion, why should parents waste their hard earned money if their child isn't going to participate. This coach was fired suddenly last May or June by the club management.  We should have parted ways then, but we wanted to give the new coach a chance.

I had a discussion with the my daughter's coach  about what's going on at practice.  We spoke about dry land, my daughter's fear of injuries, her bad habits, lack of motivation, and other issues.  I was informed that she didn't participate well in dry land. The coach would have to stand in front of her to get her to do the exercises.  She will say it's because of injuries.  He also mentioned how swimmers in his group show up with cell phones and dressed inappropriately for this portion of the work outs. C and the other kids,  show up  dressed appropriately and ready to participate (even if C's participating halfheartedly or crappy she's ready).  Yet, workouts get cancelled because of this Queen Bee and her three bad apples that follow her.

The queen bee and her three friends... don't care.  Not only do they not care or respect the other swimmers, they obviously don't care about the program.  I'm really at  loss for words as to how this is acceptable behavior to be exhibited and modeled for the younger children who look up and aspire to be like the older  children.  Did I mention I pay money for my daughter to participate in this program?  Last I checked I wasn't paying money for four bratty 13-year old girls to run the program.

Let's talk about sportsmanship and team spirit.  There is NONE!  It's every swimmer for themselves.  There's no cheering for anyone outside your clique.  It's acceptable to write  inappropriate things on some one's motivating poster.  It's acceptable to behave badly.  The coach told me that they are all respectful of him.  Really?  This is respectful behavior?

After this weekend's swim meet when we talked about other teams. C tells me all of the things she noticed about other teams regarding team spirit and camaraderie. It was like a rock to the head, I realized she's missing those things from her team a tremendous amount.  I knew it after the poster incident, but didn't realize to what degree. When she can tell me which teams cheered for one another at the end of the swimmer's lanes I knew she was paying attention to the other teams.  She also took note of which groups stayed together and had a team cheer. She's noticing what she no longer has at her team and she longs for it.  I suppose she is telling me that it's time for a change and I suppose I really need to listen.

Being 12 is so Hard!

After this weekend's swimming,  I am finally to the root of what bothers my girl.  She swam "horrible" in her words today. She was ready to quit and throw in the towel.  This is not an option. I told her you can't quit.  You have to redefine your goals and focus on your training.  Quitting is like giving up and that is just not possible.

I talked with her coach about this.  He also mentioned that she's swimming much less than the other girls. That due to illness and injury he thinks she's lost her drive.  I talked with her about this.  She admitted she's afraid to get injured again and has taken on some bad habits out of fear.  He also mentioned that he has a lot of girls in his group.  That she's used to it being just her and one other girl and that C just needs to get in there with them and make friends.

C and I talked about this information from her coach.  I think it was very helpful to know how her practices were going to have a conversation about where she can be accountable for her swimming. The changes she can make to swim better.  She said she's ready to work hard and try to get to her goals.  So now quitting is off the table.  Such a relief!  She loves the water.

I also inquired further with my daughter about the "getting in there" and making to work it with the other girls.  To this I was informed that she's not really interested in a lot of the same things as they are.  That she doesn't like to hear them talk about other people badly.  Preteen and early teen girls are tough.  They aren't old enough to be big, and they aren't young enough to be small.  Some want to grow up way too fast.  I asked her point blank if she felt too immature to be doing that cliquey stuff and she said yes.  She just wants to have fun.  I also know that C doesn't want to grow up.  She wants to stay young.  Puberty is not a welcomed friend to her.

Being 12 is so hard... will it get easier at 13?

Change is in our Future

My daughter told me after her swim practice last night that "no one on the team cares about each other anymore." Words that made me so sad. I was even more saddened to hear that she had to take the new poster around to all of the swimmers and ask them to sign it.  That there was no discussion about what had occurred on the one swimmers poster.  Nor, have I heard through the grapevine that there was any discussion regarding the use of the offensive nickname.

It saddens my heart deeply to hear my daughter talk about how much fun her team used to be.  How everyone was like family.  That they had pride and team spirit.  She said it's just not the same since the club fired her beloved coach last summer.

My perspective is that any extra curricular activity my daughter participates in should bring her joy and happiness.  She should look forward to going and participating.  She loves the water and I fear that if we stay on this course she may lose her love and passion for swimming.  Something that brought her great pride and joy at one time.  I understand it could be her age.  Many swimmers lose interest at between the ages of 11-14.  But when there is a less than positive atmosphere I think it makes it more challenging.

Change is never easy, but is always necessary to grow as individuals.  Perhaps it's time for change.