Today's "to do" list includes a 20 mile run... UGH!

Today's plan is to get the girl to school and head to the boring, and monotonous bike trail to run 20 miles.  This is part of my training plan for the upcoming marathon on December 2nd.  I've been training alone for this marathon since the mileage exceeds a distance  my dog's can run with me.  The miles are long tedious and boring.  Mentally I'm trying to get myself out of this marathon. When I signed up earlier in the year for the race I'd had a group of what I thought were friends training for it.  Friends come and go with the ebb and flow of your life. It wasn't in my plan to train alone.  It's been a true test of mental toughness for sure.

I'll update the iPhone for the mileage. I'll put on my two favorite podcasts "Stuff You Should Know" and "This American Life."   I'll get to learn interesting things and be entertained by Josh and Chuck's random topics.  Ira Glass is sure to have some very interesting shows to entertain me as well.  I love the stories about people's experiences.  They will help tick away the miles until my feet and legs hurt and I just want to quit.  Then I'll switch to some upbeat music and literally WILL myself to finish.  

The salmon are running perhaps I'll catch a glimpse of them doing their thing along the river.  The fisherman have been out in full force, along with the vultures.  The deer and squirrels are preparing for winter and you can tell.  Although, in this part of California we don't really have winter. 

Hopefully, today will help me clear my head and mull my life's problems over.  Reflect on my memories of my sweet girl and think about what unknowns lie ahead.  That's the best part of running, it helps you work through what's really bugging you.  Lately the biggest decision on my personal plate is whether or not to consider speaking to my doctor about medication.  I'm a highly anxious person and I'm thinking my anxiety is out of control.  Or perhaps I'm just depressed.  So many people tell me that I am; therefore, I must be... right?  

I'm off to start my busy day... with lackluster enthusiasm.