I got a message from F's nurse that she's not feeling well today. She's had a really rough couple of weeks due to a death in the family and just being sick herself. There's been a nasty virus going around. Which swept through my house as well (and yes, my hands hurt from washing them!). Today she will be out due to illness. Because F hasn't felt well, that abscess on his face, he may not want to venture out to the Capitol. If he does I'll take him, but his car needs gas and that's another thing added to the list.
My plans will just go out the window. I'm not sure how today will play out, all I know is that need to constantly be flexible. I can never wake up in the morning and expect the day to go as planned. There's always something thrown in to throw me off. To think I was actually going to apply for a part-time job to help earn some extra money to work on paying off some bills. I'm thinking this is perhaps a sign that I'm not meant to do anything else, but be at the beck and call of my children... which as a mother is how it should be. It's just discouraging.
It's discouraging, because to get anything done for myself. I always have to rely on help from someone else, either F's nurse or the hubby. The nurse gets sick too and she has a life outside of our home. I can't hold onto her and expect her to come through above and beyond what she already gives us during her work week. She gives us more in many ways than just her work week so it's not limited to her 40 hours. She is a resource and she allows me to contact her to bounce things off of her regarding F's care. Which I am ever so grateful for. The hubby works nights and needs some sleep when he gets home in the morning. He has an additional job that he does from the house. I have to accommodate him since he is the breadwinner. F and I have no one else, but them to go to for help and assistance.
Without a nurse it means F requires additional patience for me. For me anything I had planned for myself typically goes out the window. I've wanted to get my hair done for at least a month now. The first things I need is the time, second just the additional funding since it's really a luxury for me. I've been trying to save as much as possible and it's just hard to justify getting my hair colored.
Today, I would be satisfied getting the small errands done that need to be done and running my dogs three miles. If I can get those things done I'll at least feel more satisfied with myself. Yet, here I sit typing this. I'm just wasting my precious minutes that could be spent doing something productive. Because in all reality this blog really is a time sucker and I'm not sure why I'm bothering today. I just have a hard time being motivated sometimes, that to do list is really long in my head and it fatigues me just thinking about it.
I'm off to make a big pitcher of lemonade for today...
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